It Only Seems Like The End of The World. Your worst
fears have now been confirmed . . . you're pregnant!
You are afraid, confused, angry . . . and feeling very
much alone.
You are asking yourself:
What am I going to do?
What will people say?
What will my parents say?
How will the baby's father react?
Will my boyfriend or husband leave me?
Who can I turn to?
By now you've made a mental list of the people you
would normally talk to in a time of crisis -- your best
friend, your parents, perhaps someone from work or church.
But just the thought of telling someone -- anyone -sends
you into a panic! And then there is that sinking feeling
deep inside you that says, "There is no one who
really understands my situation, or knows what I am
going through." What's more, you begin to suspect
that there will be no one to really care about you or
your baby. Only one thing seems certain -painful choices
lie ahead.
Whether the news of your pregnancy will elicit loving
support or total condemnation from those around you,
one fact remains: There is someone who cares -- God
loves you unconditionally! And though it may be hard
to believe right now, God can bring something good out
of what appears to be something terrible happening in
your life.
"For I know the plans I have for you,
declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm
you, plans to give you hope and a future."
You may feel that your pregnancy is a barrier between
you and God, making it impossible for you to turn to
Him. Don't you believe it!
God created you and your child, and both of you are
precious to Him. He has a plan for both your lives.
Because of your pregnancy you will never again be the
same person you were -- but if you look to God in this
time of crisis, He will be a source of great comfort
and hope.
"I will instruct you and teach you in
the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch
over you."
Your First Decision
You have many decisions ahead, and some of them will
be painful no matter what you decide. There is, however,
one decision you can make right now that will help you
through this time as well as the rest of your life --
and that is to commit your life to God.
If you have never asked God into your heart and don't
know how, it's easy. It's so simple that many people
think it can't be for real . . . but it is! God knew
that not one of us would be able to personally make
up for the things He doesn't want us to do. (This is
called sinning or rebelling against God.) So He sent
His Son Jesus to pay the penalty for the sins of every
person once and for all.
For all have sinned and fall short of the
glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace
through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
While this may be hard for you to understand just
now, all you need to do is believe that Jesus died for
you, confess to God that there is sin in your life,
and accept His forgiveness and His gift of eternal life.
Don't wait another moment, pray this prayer right now
and put God in charge of your life:
Dear Lord Jesus, I believe that You are the
Son of God. I believe that You died for my sins and
rose from the grave. I invite You into my heart and
receive You right now. Thank You for forgiveness. Thank
You for a new life. Help me to be what You want me to
be and live your life through me. Amen.
You have just made the most important decision of your
life by accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.
With Him by your side, you are ready to face the road
ahead. And you can face it with the assurance of God's
promise:
"And we know that in all things God works
for the good of those who love him, who have been called
according to his purpose. "
That means that God will cause even this pregnancy
to work together for your good. And He will see you
through the challenging moments and difficult decisions
of the next few months.
Isn't Abortion The Only Choice?
As your pregnancy becomes obvious, don't be surprised
if some people are unable to deal with it. Many people,
including some who are very dear to you, will be uncomfortable
and embarrassed about your condition. Some of your friends
may actually turn against you and reject you. If you
are a teenager or living at home, you may have to face
negative feelings from your parents. If you are married
and this pregnancy was not planned, you may even have
to face rejection from your own husband. It is vitally
important that you do not let the negative reactions
of others influence your decisions or put you on a guilt
trip! This is your life, your baby and your future,
not theirs.
To disapproving friends or relatives, your pregnancy
represents embarrassment, inconvenience or hardship,
and they may possibly pressure you to have an abortion.
They will tell you that abortion is readily available
and affordable. That abortion is quick and safe. That
abortion can make your pregnancy disappear, just as
if it never happened. That you can go back to being
the same person you were before you became pregnant
and no one will be the wiser.
While these people may have the best of intentions,
their "solutions" are misguided. If you listen
to them, you may be convinced that having an abortion
is the answer to your crisis pregnancy. It's tempting
to think that you could pick up your life where you
left off and that maybe it's the "right thing to
do." But understand that almost all of the arguments
for abortion are deceiving. Look at a few of the facts
that abortion counselors probably won't tell you:
- Abortion is big business. It is unregulated, cash
-- oriented and highly profitable.
- Abortion counselors do not want you to know you
really have a choice. They have been carefully trained
to sell you on abortion.
- Abortion clinics are not safe. In many cases abortion
is outright dangerous! Some of the nation's largest
abortion clinics use unlicensed physicians in unsanitary
and rushed conditions.
- Abortion clinics sometimes skip "routine"
procedures like sterilizing instruments when the waiting
room is full.
- Complications and deaths resulting from legal abortions
are falsely or routinely unreported.
- A "fetus" is a fully-formed unique individual
with its own genetic code from the moment of conception.
At 18 days, your baby's heart begins to beat.
- Legal abortion can leave permanent physical impairment
including sterility and loss of your uterus.
Sadly, these are only a few of the disturbing facts
about abortion. The truth is that aborting your baby
will not solve your problem, it will only lead
to a new set of problems.
A growing amount of evidence indicates that the despair
and guilt-ladened post-abortion experience may be even
more traumatic than the pre-abortion period of decision
making. The emotional effects of an abortion can last
for several years.
Known as post-abortion syndrome (PAS), many women suffer
reactions that include:
- Depression, regret or remorse.
- Low self-esteem.
- Nightmares.
- Fear of infertility.
- Alcoholism and/or drug abuse.
- Flashbacks of the abortion procedure.
- Anniversary syndrome -- Remembering the anniversary
date of the abortion or what would have been the baby's
birthday.
- Imagine trying to live the rest of your life with
the knowledge that you killed your unborn child!
And finally, because God is the Creator of all life,
He does not want us to destroy it. It is priceless and
precious to Him, and He has a plan for each and every
one of us.
"For you created my inmost being; you
knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because
I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are
wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden
from you when I was made in the secret place. When I
was woven together in the depths of the earth, your
eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for
me were written in your book before one of them came
to be."
He will give you a purpose and a hope as you see your
pregnancy through. It may seem like the toughest choice,
but with God in your heart, you and your baby will make
it!
Reach Out For Help
You may be thinking, "But you don't understand
- I need everything! I have no money, no doctor and
no place to live. Surely no stranger is going to give
me all these things."
In every community, there are people and places who
will help you meet the needs of every stage of your
pregnancy. Crisis pregnancy centers, counselors, churches,
and good, loving people will help provide or arrange
the following services and more:
- Ongoing personal counseling
- Counseling as needed with parents, boyfriend or
husband
- Schooling assistance
- Prenatal and postnatal guidance
- Medical care
- Financial assistance
- Adoption services, if necessary
- Legal aid, if necessary
- Housing
- Household furnishings
- Maternity clothes and baby items
There is Hope!
Let God prove to you beyond any shadow of doubt that
He is who He says He is, and that He will keep all His
promises to those who believe.
Most importantly, forgive yourself for getting into
this situation. Although this pregnancy may not have
been planned, have confidence that God can bring great
blessing out of any crisis.
The coming days will be challenging, frightening and
sometimes even depressing - but don't look back! Look
ahead to your new life with Jesus Christ as your Lord
and Savior. You and your baby are in His hands.
You Have A Friend
If you've had an abortion, the first thing you need
to know is that Jesus Christ forgives you - even if
you find it difficult to forgive yourself. He wants
you to put an end to those self-torturing "if only
I had . . ." speculations once and for all.
At the time you had your abortion, you may have felt
you had no choice, or maybe others pressured you. Whatever
the reason, it is in the past and there is nothing you
can do to change it.
But there is something you can do to change how you're
feeling right now.
And that is to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and
Savior. As God's own Son, Jesus came into this world
to experience the trials and temptations that are a
part of everyday life. He did that because He loves
us so much and because He wanted to feel what we feel.
"God made Him who had no sin to be sin
for us, so in Him we might become the righteousness
of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21
Then, in an ultimate act of love, He died on the cross
to pay the price for our sins, so that we could have
a relationship with God and go to Heaven when we die.
"For God so loved the world, that He
gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in
Him should not perish, but have eternal life."
So Jesus Christ not only understands physical pain
and suffering, but He also understands emotional pain
and suffering. He cares! And He's waiting for you to
come to Him and ask Him into your heart. He is a true
friend, one who will listen to you and not condemn you.
Maybe you never let anyone know that you had an abortion
or maybe you've tried to bury your pain. Talk to Jesus,
cry out to Him and He will comfort you - lovingly and
gently.
Don't wait another moment. Accept God's forgiveness
for what you have done and receive His gift of eternal
life. (You may want to use the prayer previously mentioned
above as a guideline.) Just believe that Jesus died
for you and confess to God your sins.
" If we confess our sins, He is faithful
and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us
from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9
Once you commit your life to Jesus, your sins are
forgiven - like a slate that's been wiped clean.
"I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions,
for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."
Your New Life With Christ
You've just entered a new and exciting phase of your
life, but bear in mind that all your problems will not
miraculously disappear. However, God will give you the
strength and the courage to deal with whatever may come
your way.
Above all, be assured that God can bring a blessing
out of any crisis, and He will use these trials to help
you grow. Reading the Bible and attending church will
strengthen your faith and prepare you for the challenges
to come.
When moments of guilt and depression try to creep back
-- tell Jesus your fears and how you feel. Often, you
will be reminded of your past and you may feel that
you haven't been forgiven, but that isn't so! Don't
look back! The Bible says that in Christ, old things
(sins) pass away and all things become new. Once you
let go of the past, you will have peace and hope. Look
ahead to your new life with Jesus Christ as your Lord
and Savior. You are in His hands.
They Are In His Care
It's okay for you to grieve and mourn for your aborted
child. In fact, as your emotional healing takes place,
your feelings may range from anger to guilt to sorrow
to numbness. But remember, with Jesus at your side,
you're not alone. And you can take comfort in knowing:
Your child is with God in Heaven and is under His care.
Your sin is forgiven and one day, you too will be in
Heaven through God's gift of eternal life.
Recommended reading:
Abortion's Second Victim by Pam Koerbel .
Victor Books, 1986.
Does Anyone Else Feel Like I Do? And Other Questions
Women Ask Following An Abortion. Doubleday,1990.
Scripture references are taken form the New American
Standard translation of the bible.
